Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
