I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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