she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
