hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
