so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
