HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
