Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
