They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my vag is so smooth its legendary
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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