well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
