i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
