Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
