I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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