He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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