New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
