strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
