cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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