my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
