Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
