the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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