so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am spending my child support on dildos
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
