If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
