it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
