yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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