He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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