he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
