You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
