I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
