If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
