I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
