I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
