Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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