He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
