It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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