I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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