Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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