At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
