Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
