I can tuck mytits in my pants
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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