I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
