hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
