I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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