We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
FUCK WHALES
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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