i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
