Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
