PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
