do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
