Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
