Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
