So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
