Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This is the high leading the old right now
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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