FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
