my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
