in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
