community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
