Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
